Working Mom Diaries

Confessions of a control freak

This last month (and yesterday's post) really got me thinking about managing my stress levels.

I know what I should be doing: "Set priorities, delegate, let go of what you can't control." That's what all life coaches and psychologists will tell you (and through Working Mom magazine, I've met a lot).

So why couldn't I do that this month?

Setting priorities -- well, kind of hard when the choices are family and work (in my case, a sick child and a magazine deadline that couldn't be moved). I really had to be there for BOTH of them, because it's not like I could tell my son to please postpone his virus till after July 10.

Delegate? Yes, that sort of worked for me. My husband really came through for me this week; he took our son to the doctor and stayed home when I couldn't. But I couldn't exactly rely on my maid -- and there are some decisions as editor-in-chief that I can't pass on to my staff, even if they are brilliant and loyal.

So the real issue is letting go of what I can't control. (Do you have trouble with that, too?) My body says: "Yup, this is all I can do right now. Can't win them all." My mind says: "No, no! You got to do it! Find a way! Push yourself! Here, have another cup of coffee!"

So -- I've decided. My goal for the next year is to FIND A WAY TO LOOSEN UP. Let go. Laugh it off. CHILL. Hmmm. Not going to happen overnight, but I think it's the best thing I can do for myself. I can't control everything, but I can filter how it affects me.

Anyone want to join me in this search for a stress-proof life? I'd love to hear how YOU manage. And from time to time, I'll post whatever I find out works for me.

I have survived!

I have been a very bad blogger.

I'm so sorry for not posting more regularly or replying right away (but I've emailed you guys na...). It has been one crazy, crazy, C-R-A-Z-Y month. And your comments and encouragement were one of the things that helped me get through it!

First... my maid quit. She said she was just going home to enroll her daughter... then she never came back. We found a replacement but she was NO HELP AT ALL. She broke things. Lost things. Stare at me blankly whenever I gave instructions. To give you an example...

Last weekend, I had to run errands for a party. I picked up the cake, but my husband texted that we needed ice. He hold the maid to wait outside so I wouldn't have to bring everything with me to the supermarket.
To cut a long story short, when I got to the gate, she wasn't there. She'd waited outside, all right -- OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

Second... right at the height of editorial deadlines, my son came down with a fever and bad cough. Poor darling was so congested he couldn't sleep well at night (which means I don't, either).

Third... HOUSE PROBLEMS + KID PROBLEMS + WORK = VERY TIRED MOM. It's not the big crises that burn you out; it's several small emergencies happening at the same time, so you run around in circles, feeling very distracted and inefficient.

But, as the movie The Crow says, "It can't rain all the time." I've found another maid. My son's feeling better. And, hallelujah, we've finished the next magazine issue. YES, I HAVE SURVIVED! And I am going to eat ice cream generously smothered in chocolate sauce to celebrate.

If you're having one of those weeks -- hang in there. It will pass. There is light (and ice cream) at the end of the tunnel.

Scrapbook contest extended!

Good news! To celebrate Working Mom magazine's new 'baby' -- our free crafts magazine, Artplay -- we've extended our scrapbooking contest! The new deadline is July 25.

Re-posting the mechanics for the new readers. Welcome to the blog. Come again soon, we'll be announcing contests regularly!

Mechanics

Theme: Make a scrapbook layout about the first day of school. Format must be 12 x 12 or 8.5 x 11. Include your thoughts on this question: "What's the one thing you want your child to learn this school year?"

Eligibility: Use at least one Stemma paper in your layout (the papers are available at lastingimpressionph.com and will be sold at 20% off during this period). All employees of ABS-CBN Publishing, its subsidiaries, and Scrappin' Moms can participate but are automatically disqualified from winning.

Prize: Overnight stay for two at Paradizoo Theme Farm in Mendez, Cavite. Winners will be announced on August 10, 2008 in this blog.

Submission: Email your layouts and proof of purchase to wm.challenge@gmail.com on or before July 25, 2008, 12 midnight. Files must be 300kb or less. Please include a short profile in your email: your name, age, number of kids/ages, and a description of your typical day.
Additional reflection points: No these are not required in your journaling! But they're worth thinking about, even if you're not joining the contest.
1. Why does this lesson mean a lot to you?
2. How are you teaching it? Think of 5 simple things you can do to reinforce the lesson at home. If it's really that important to you, then get involved!

Happy scrapping!

Kids speak up!

So what do our kids think really about our jobs?

Billy, age 5: "I hate it. It makes her nuts. Last week at my birthday party, instead of hiring a clown, she tried to entertain us by demonstrating how she juggles work and home."

Sarah, age 3: "I love it. She's showing me the ropes. I'm wearing power jumpers and learning how to say 'I need it yesterday.' "

Drew, age 6: "I don't like my mom working. Sometimes she freaks out. Last week she told me to clean my room or I was fired."

Okay, so that was a joke. Have to start the week with a smile!

Yes, we're thinner than we thought!

Good news: the Scientiific American reports that working moms tend to be healthier than people who have no jobs or no kids.

So the stress isn't killing us. It may actually be forcing us to take better care of ourselves -- or at least, watch our weight. The study found that working moms have the lowest incidents of obesity. Could partially be linked to the way we crash diet the minute our suit feels a little too snug. (Cheaper to lose weight than to buy another suit, right?)

Announcing... Momworks

Get out the popcorn! Working Mom magazine's sister media company, the Lifestyle Channel, has a new parenting show called Momworks! It's hosted by Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan, and filled with great information on balance, discipline, money management -- you name it. 

The episode replays several times in one week so find the schedule that fits yours:   Wednesday, 10:30 pm; Thursday, 3:30 am and 3:30 pm; Saturday, 11:30 am; Sunday, 11:30 pm.

You could call Momworks as Working Mom's TV component. Really cool synergy -- all so we can serve your you see us on print, on air, on ground (through events like our quarterly parenting workshops), and (through this blog) on the web. The marketing gurus call it "multi-platform" but what it really means is that you get us wherever you need us.

So a lot of exciting things are happening. (And no, this is not the special secret that I hinted at a few days ago.) So stay tuned, and pass the popcorn. We're in for a good show.

Best painreliever in the world

Caught the bug that's been going around the office. (Cough, sniffle, sigh.) Went to bed really early, and burrowed under the blankets.

My four-year-old son, Zach, lifted the blanket. "Mama, what's wrong?"

"I'm sick." 

"Ouchie?" he asked. I nodded miserably.

"I kiss it better!" he planted a big one on my forehead. "Still ouchie?"

By that time I was smiling. "Yeah, little bit."

"I give you biiiiiiiiger one!" he said, practically throwing himself on top of me as he tried to kiss, hug and tickle away whatever was bothering me.

And he succeeded. I was still coughing, and congested -- but content.

I love being a Mom.

Crazy ideas

Sorry about disappearing like that.

It's been a craaaaazy week. Sleep at one am, go back to work at 8 am. 

It's always hectic the last few days before we finish a magazine issue, but this was about 10 times worse. Because.... we were doing something really really really really special. I can't tell you yet (ooooh, a secret!) but I can say that when it was finally done, I knew every hour of overtime was worth it.

Don't you just love moments like that? When you have a project you really believe in, and after God-knows-how-many meetings, delays, and schedules-gone-wrong, it all falls into place. And you sit back and think, "Wow. We did it. We finally did it."

Especially since, the last two weeks, I was seriously kicking myself in the butt for even attempting the project. I wanted to sleep. Eat a normal lunch. Watch Kung Fu Panda with my kid without my cell phone going off every 15 minutes. But noooo, we had to have this Big Idea. (And most ideas look so much easier when it's on paper.)

But when the Idea Actually Happened...wow. I felt so damn good.

I guess the point of this blog entry is... listen to your Crazy Ideas. And when you find one that's worth your time (one that keeps coming back no matter how many times you shove it away), roll up your sleeves and say, "Let's do it." After all, some Crazy Ideas have changed the world. (Thank you to the man who thought up Indoor Plumbing.) At the very least, it will change you. 

And a toddler saves the day

Here's something cute to start your week with: a toddler singing Hey Jude.  He must be two? three?  But he's lisps through the whole song. Amazing.

My niece showed me this video after I had one of the Craziest Fridays Ever. Came home in a foul mood and wallowing in a cess pool of self-pity. But five notes into that You Tube video and I was laughing.

There is no mood so bad that it can't be fixed by a singing toddler, dontcha think?

Scrapbooking Challenge: First Day of School

Scissors ready? Inkpads within reach? Join the scrapbooking contest hosted by Working Mom magazine and Lasting Impression.

Theme: Make a scrapbook layout about the first day of school. Format must be 12 x 12 or 8.5 x 11. Include your thoughts on this question: "What's the one thing you want your child to learn this school year?"

Eligibility: Use at least one Stemma paper, available at lastingimpressionph.com, in your layout (the papers will be sold at 20% off during this period). All employees of ABS-CBN Publishing, its subsidiaries, and Scrappin' Moms can participate but are automatically disqualified from winning.

Prize: Overnight stay for two at Paradizoo Theme Farm in Mendez, Cavite. Winners will be announced on July 10, 2008 in this blog.

Submission: Email your layouts and proof of purchase to wm.challenge@gmail.com on or before June 26, 2008, 12 midnight. Files must be 300kb or less. Please include a short profile in your email: your name, age, number of kids/ages, and a description of your typical day.

Additional reflection points: No these are not required in your journaling! But they're worth thinking about, even if you're not joining the contest.

1. Why does this lesson mean a lot to you?

2. How are you teaching it? Think of 5 simple things you can do to reinforce the lesson at home. If it's really that important to you, then get involved!

Happy scrapping!