Confessions of a control freak

This last month (and yesterday's post) really got me thinking about managing my stress levels.

I know what I should be doing: "Set priorities, delegate, let go of what you can't control." That's what all life coaches and psychologists will tell you (and through Working Mom magazine, I've met a lot).

So why couldn't I do that this month?

Setting priorities -- well, kind of hard when the choices are family and work (in my case, a sick child and a magazine deadline that couldn't be moved). I really had to be there for BOTH of them, because it's not like I could tell my son to please postpone his virus till after July 10.

Delegate? Yes, that sort of worked for me. My husband really came through for me this week; he took our son to the doctor and stayed home when I couldn't. But I couldn't exactly rely on my maid -- and there are some decisions as editor-in-chief that I can't pass on to my staff, even if they are brilliant and loyal.

So the real issue is letting go of what I can't control. (Do you have trouble with that, too?) My body says: "Yup, this is all I can do right now. Can't win them all." My mind says: "No, no! You got to do it! Find a way! Push yourself! Here, have another cup of coffee!"

So -- I've decided. My goal for the next year is to FIND A WAY TO LOOSEN UP. Let go. Laugh it off. CHILL. Hmmm. Not going to happen overnight, but I think it's the best thing I can do for myself. I can't control everything, but I can filter how it affects me.

Anyone want to join me in this search for a stress-proof life? I'd love to hear how YOU manage. And from time to time, I'll post whatever I find out works for me.

Comments

[Elle Marie's Mama]

Hello Dedet,

Stress proof life? My one and only formula: Elle Marie + Nonoy = stress free life:-) My husband Noy plays a very important role in destressing my life... I don't know how I will be able to survive life's challenges without him.

A day in the mall, beach, park or gymboree with my 20 month old daughter, Elle Marie makes me forget all about work stress. Noy supplements this with ever reliable hugs and kisses... And being there for Elle in my absence.

Every time I have out of town works, I see to it that I am away for max of overnight only... in excess to that I bring along my husband and daughter.

Know what? you're VERY lucky to have a supportive husband. I think you owe him a kiss and hug for being there for you and your son:-)

Ella

[Rowena Wendy Lei]

I know exactly what that's like Ms. Dedet... and I agree you are fortunate to have a very supportive husband. :D

I find doing things I love a big help in de-stressing. In my case that would be writing and video games. An indication of when I'm stressed would usually be a blog flooded with a barrage of entries. I also get to relax when I read -- books, magazines, anything. :D

Thank you so much for your hard work on WM, we readers appreciate it. :D

[Patty]

Hi Dedet! I can totally relate. I've found myself in this situation many times through the years. There are moments when you really just want to bang your head against the wall. But you're lucky to have a husband who "has your back", so to speak. Mine is the same. At the end of the day, I think it's all about knowing that inspite of all the craziness, you have someone you can rely on to handle things.

And yes, spending time with our kids really takes away all the stress! I make sure to make up for an absence by spending an entire day with them and do whatever THEY want.

Hang in there!

[One Crunchy Mama]

I need to find some time to let it go and laugh it off too! I think this is a great new years rezy!

[Baby]

Great post ...we so can relate!

[freelance writer]

just have faith and reflect with god :) amen.

[Busines101mom]

I am a full-time working mother of a three year old boy and recently I have enrolled in one of those 'chartered' designations. I knew I could do it, but I realized that I became very tense, shifted a lot of house work on my husband and my son started 'hating' studying for an unknown reason. Last week I dropped my studies to focus on my family and today my 3 year old boy finally did his english homework, he wrote two rows of Ds. I will have my designation later, but for now I want my family to be happy and at piece. I can't wait for the day when me and my son will be doing our 'homework' together in the library.